French, my nightmare

I've had a really rough time these past days due to me studying French. I have realized that I've forgotten so much. Well, I didn't touch it for over 20 years so I guess it's normal that I've forgotten about most of it. Or maybe I just got too blocked...

I studied French for 6 years. First 3 years at school and I LOVED it!!! I studied day and night and really wanted to learn to speak it well. I even had some French speaking pen pals. Then I started Secondary School and we got a new teacher, an old man who must have been a military in his youth or something. The first thing he told us the first day of class what that we were all stupid and not able to pronounce the French sounds as we should, so he was feeling sick. He also told us that due to our horrible pronunciation we were not to speak French in class. If we wanted to learn how to speak French we should go to France, because in class we were to study grammar and nothing else. And that's what we did.... We spent 3 years studying French verbs... I ended up so fed up with French grammar that I decided that I would never ever speak a word of French in my whole life!!! And I haven't, until recently...

I really need to get rid of that mental block I have with French. I guess French isn't such a horrible language after all. But right now I'm feeling quite ill because I'm actually teaching a language without knowing it... I do not enjoy my classes right now... But I need the money... And somehow I know this is the only way I'll get back to French, because I hate going to class and not knowing what I'm doing. I'm sure I wont have any problems with French next year. I just feel sorry for my students this year, because I'm not sure I'm helping them or making things worse...

I did learn a good thing from that teacher though... I definitely know what kind of teacher I do NOT want to become!!!! When I feel sad because I feel I'm not a good enough teacher I think about him and think "Well, at least I'm doing better than him, because he made me hate the subject he was supposed to teach us".

Well, it's time to get back to my studies for a while. A bientôt, tout le mond! See you soon!

Posted in: personal,teaching